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Sarnai

<· Daydreamer ·>

"I'm not sure if I can be of much help, but...
If you need help, I'm here."

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Gpose Gallery

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Five

<· Of Voidsent Heart ·>

"Take your shot.
Pray it kills me."

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Gpose Gallery

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Tristan Djt-Dvre

<· Melancholic Reverie ·>

"This is a safe space - so set the pace,
and I will follow."

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Noua

<· The Songbird's Shield ·>

"I'll have you know my record for surviving dangerous missions is impeccable.
So far."

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Gpose Gallery

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Fang

<· Twiceborn Lion ·>

"I'm just doin' the bare minimum to get by,
and I don't even wanna get by."

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Gpose Gallery

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Grey

<· The Fallen Moon ·>

"Decay exists as an extant form of life.
You cannot kill me in a way that matters."

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Gpose Gallery

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Mist

<· Mirror of the Moon ·>

"Don't touch me, don't talk to me.
I'm not here for you."

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Gpose Gallery

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Lucky

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<· Fortune's Pendulum ·>

"Know that I'll kill your god if I have to.
Maybe even if I don't."

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Moodboard

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Art Gallery

(Various Artists)

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Art Gallery

(by Pillowboat)

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Gpose Gallery

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Relationships

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Caelix

<· The Songbird's Sword ·>

"Not by fate, or chance, or prayer. When you fall...
Know that it was by my design."

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Gpose Gallery

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Sai

<· Fairytale Incarnate ·>

"It doesn't have to be real —
— if it makes you feel something."

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Gpose Gallery

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Valentino

<· Serendipitous Songbird ·>

"I apologize for how rowdy we are.
Unfortunately we are only this, or worse."

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Gpose Gallery

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Nikolei

<· Ghostflame ·>

"I ain't gonna argue with a pretty face.
Unless that's what you're into."

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Gpose Gallery

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Kuva'al

<· The Daredevil of the Sea ·>

"All life began with the water -
and so shall it end."

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Agni Vidati

<· Everglow ·>

"It's not my job to pass judgement.
I will heal them, no matter who they are."

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Jianyu

<· Living Dead ·>

"I don't want to fight, but ...
It's a dog-eat-dog world."

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Death Would Only Be Freedom

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No one would attend the xaela in Bed #7. The nurses had shackled his wrists and ankles to the bed. Crimson pools formed on the ground, dripping fresh from several wounds. All of the staff continued about their duties as if he were not there, as if he were not screaming in pain, in agony, or maybe just for fun. It didn't matter. The sound of his chains rattling echoed down through the halls, but silenced against the chatter between doctors and nurses and other patients. The emergency room was not busy that day, but staff would not be spared for one singular xaela.A tall viera with vibrant red hair stepped forward. "I will tend to him. Tell security to uncuff the man, please."It was as though the entire emergency room turned to stare in shock as he pulled on his mask, as if preparing for any other surgery. When no one moved an inch, he stared at them in confusion. "Hello? Uncuff the man, now. I can't perform surgery like this. He'll die if we don't work quickly. Where is my assistant?""Doctor …" A shy miqo'te nurse walked forward, whispering. "That's Yagi the Carver. He's killed twelve people. Half of them were just children."Inexplicably, he continued preparing for the surgery. It was as though the miqo'te had never said a word - or maybe it just didn't matter. Another nurse put his hand on the viera's shoulder, as if trying to shake him out of his stupor."Have you lost your mind, Aaditya? Think of the families he has ruined! Surely you do not think this man deserves to live!""Do not misunderstand." Aaditya said sharply as he shoved the nurse backwards as roughly as he had been. "He must be alive to repent for his sins. Death would only be freedom."When Medical Director Aaditya Vidati is killed in Bed #7, the largest hospital in Ul'dah shuts down. For good.

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When the full moon rises to the highest point of the night sky and not a moment sooner, Agni finds Siobhan sitting on the couch in his apartment, looking rather pleased with himself. Any plans of crying in the shower to soothe his broken heart go out the window. Siobhan flips the pages of a hefty tome he'd taken off the shelves as if to ignore Agni's presence, which … is very likely. The only sound in the room is the chronometer ticking gently on the wall, the gentle fall of rain, and the occasional page flipping without a care in the world. When enough time passes that it's clear Siobhan will not initiate a conversation, Agni says, in a carefully measured tone, "I suppose I should have seen this coming."This, at least, brings a smile to Siobhan's face, though he continues to read in silence. Ruminating. Or toying. As always, he is impossible to read. Agni sighs, dropping his bag on the table and pulling his hair down from where it had been tied. If Siobhan is going to be difficult, then so be it. Far be it from Agni to stop him; he may as well get some work done. Agni takes a seat at his desk and begins reading through some papers.This gets Siobhan's attention. "You are a strange one, resigning to work in the face of death," he says, without looking up from the tome.Agni does not flinch. He is so, so tired. "What should I do? Run?""Oh, I would very much enjoy that.""Then I will not."Siobhan finally shuts the book, tossing it over his shoulder. It falls unceremoniously behind the couch. At long last, he graces Agni with eye contact, his smile widening to a grin. "It's quite the shame, really. That hyur was quite the specimen - and he's swallowed by such agony, himself. Do you think -""Don't," Agni cuts in sharply, his tone brutal for a single syllable. He suddenly looks very awake. "Don't even think about laying a finger on him. You already have me."There's a spark of joy in Siobhan's eye. "Do you think I will stop, after you?"Agni stands abruptly with a slam of his hands on the desk. He storms over and grabs Siobhan by the collar of his shirt roughly. Agni is never one for fights; he's hardly seen frowning at someone, but Siobhan is an exception to many rules. He's dangerously close to winding up the hardest punch he's thrown in his life. Worse, still, is that Siobhan looks excited. "Swear. Swear that you won't touch him.""Why must I leave him alone? In fact, I'd sooner have him than you. I might be convinced to spare your life, given permission to take h-"Tuck the thumb over the middle finger to avoid injuries. Use the dominant hand. Bend the knees and twist the hips. Follow through. Agni punches with his entire body.The glittering, bubbling sound of laughter rises from the other side of the couch where Siobhan had landed. Agni does not think he has ever been so angry in his life. When he walks over, intending to drag Siobhan into a full brawl, the man is gone.Then, there is a knife at his throat. "That was not so bad a punch," comes Siobhan's breathy voice behind him, as he wraps his free hand around Agni's waist. "For a doctor." Agni struggles against his grip, but Siobhan is stronger and faster than he appears. "Perhaps I will go after him first. Oh, your aether would darken so beautifully. I would love to see it.""Shut up," Agni snarls. So this is what it's like, to be so angry that you can't see straight. "Shut up, shut up -"There's the sound of laughter again as Agni is shoved forward. Siobhan takes his hand and twirls him, as if forcing him to dance, and then places the knife in his hands. There is nothing but reckless glee in his eyes as he takes a step forward. Agni takes a step back. Eventually, his back finds the wall - and Siobhan finds his hands, drawing them upwards until the knife meets his own throat."What is it that you plan to do? Kill me?" Siobhan almost sings with the lilting tone of his voice. Agni is shaking with anger, with fear, with frustration, and he hates it, he hates this - and Siobhan loves that he hates it, and Agni hates that too. In this moment, he feels as though the only thing he'll ever feel is anger. It would be so easy. So, so easy to kill him. "If you were only capable of such a crime, well. We wouldn't be where we are now. Have you forgotten the murder I committed at your request?" Siobhan grips Agni's wrists roughly, forcing him to make a shallow cut into his neck. The blood trickles down, stark red. Agni knows, from experience in surgery after surgery, exactly how easily flesh will give way to metal. And yet…"Stop!" Agni tries to pull the knife away, but Siobhan's grip is unmoving. The cut deepens. "You said a life for a life! If you kill Ashwin, you'll break the contract.""Ah, for someone so intelligent, you misunderstood something so crucial." Siobhan rolls his eyes, but he finally releases Agni's wrists. Agni tosses the knife a fair distance from either of them, but still places his body between them. "It's aether for aether. Not all creatures were born equal. Could I trade your life for that of a fly?""Then why …" Agni stares incredulously at Siobhan, at a loss for words. After a short moment, he collects himself. "Why take Ashwin? Have I not gone through enough for you? Am I not at the lowest point in my life?"When Siobhan closes the distance between him, this time, Agni does not move. He stands his ground, determined to protect someone he still considers his dearest. Even after everything. "Perhaps, I could torture your dear Ashwin before you-""Torture me instead," Agni does not hesitate, and when Siobhan's eyes light up like fireworks against the night sky, he continues, "Tear me limb from limb. Cut my eyes out. I'll even run if you want. Just … Please, I'm begging you." He gets down to his knees, despite the burning anger he still feels in his chest. The tears run hot down the curve of his cheeks as he bows his head. "Please don't hurt Ash."Slowly, agonizingly, Siobhan takes his jaw in the soft touch of his hands. Ruminating. Toying.Then, he says, "Tear you limb from limb?"

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The first of many letters arrives a few weeks after Agni turns 16."To my little fireball,How have you been? My sincerest apology for missing your sixteenth nameday. It took quite a bit of work to figure out when it was! I wonder how you have grown. I'm sure your father would have been proud of the man you are becoming.We used to be friends, you know. Before you were born. That's how he got into the medical business; we used to harvest organs from dead patients and sell them to foreign buyers. How else do you think he made that much money? When he married T'avi and had you, he changed. I still have yet to forgive him for that. Aaditya was born from dirt, and suddenly built Ul'dah's most prosperous hospital. He became a saint, while I was left to run from the authorities for the rest of my life - for crimes no different than what he committed. Absurd.It was kind of him to perform the surgery, but for someone so intelligent, he was such a fool. He would not shut up about you. He wouldn't stop talking about you as I stabbed him to death. Oh, how I wish you could have heard it. He loved you so, so much.Thinking of you always,
Yagi Rin."There is no return address.

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"Do you not have chili flakes?" Siobhan asks, frowning as he flies through the cabinets. He finds them next to a stack of books sitting next to the oven and snorts. With one hand, he cracks another egg against the bowl and starts whisking everything together. Salt, eggs, chili flakes. He coats the pan in a generous amount of butter before pouring the mixture in, watching it sizzle as he hums a joyful tune. It's early morning now, and the rain has finally ceased. The wind whistles through the trees instead, harmonious with the morning birdsong. "Anyways, where was I? Ah, right. Your mother was adamant that I pay you a visit - that's the real reason I am here. The case of Yagi Rin has already been closed. I was only teasing about your precious Ashwin. I won't hurt him, promise. It's just that you are so adorable when you get angry." Siobhan then tosses some bread in the toaster. When they're done, he coats them in mayonnaise and tops them with the eggs, plating it carelessly before placing it down on the table.Agni sits at the head of the table, drugged out of his goddamn mind. He has no idea what Siobhan injected him with, but he can barely lift a finger, and has to remember to take each breath. He can barely process what it is he's looking at. When he finally realizes, he has more questions than answers. An easy breakfast, made in only a few minutes. This was the first thing Agni learned to cook, and made it often for his mother. She would scold him; they have a kitchen of personal chefs that can make anything across Eorzea, and he wasted his time and resources on something so frivolous, when it could have been spent studying? Every time he made it, she returned the empty plate to the kitchen. From her sour reaction, Agni always suspected that she'd thrown it out. Waste of money, she'd always say. Agni always wondered if she was referring to the food, or him."This was your mother's last meal. She begged for it, before I took her life years ago for the payment of killing Yagi Rin."What?What the hell?Siobhan mercifully allows him a moment to process this information - but how can he? His mother? His mother, who kicked him out screaming? His mother, who wished he'd never been born? But Agni was the one who made a contract with Siobhan - how did she get involved? When did she die? He could never bear to reach out, he had no idea.For once, wordlessly, Siobhan slides the letter across the table. He sips on a mug of tea, waiting patiently. It takes Agni ages to move his body in order to simply grasp the parchment in his hands, but when he does, the tears are already burning down his face.Agni —I wonder, sometimes, if you do not hate me too much, if you've inherited your father's bleeding heart, but if you hate me until the world ends, it would be only fair. I'm sorry that this letter is written so awkwardly. I may have given birth to you, but let's be honest - we are strangers at best, now.I made a contract with Siobhan years ago. I wanted him to kill that wretched bastard that killed my Aaditya, in exchange for my life at my most miserable hour. I don't know why he entered the same 'contract' with you either, but I made the contract first. So, I'm paying the price. Wish it were you than me. If only I'd known.I ate all the sandwiches you made me when you were younger. They were disgusting. You were better in the study room than you were in the kitchen. I'm sorry. I'm about to die. I'm just saying anything now. I've always hated your hair. I've always hated how much you look like Aaditya.I'm sending Siobhan to you as my last act of vengeance. Yagi may have killed him, but it's your fault that this sick, cruel world was robbed of Aaditya's grace. When your heart breaks, I hope Siobhan shows up to show you the true meaning of pain. It will only be a fraction of the agony you have caused me since the day you were born.Enclosed are all the files you will need to inherit everything Aaditya and I owned; property, investments, finances, everything. Our world is yours now. I'm sorry I never said I love you. I'm sorry I still can't say it now, of all times. This is the last time I will ever say anything to you, and it's written on a piece of paper given to you by the man who killed me. I can't explain why I am compelled to allow you to inherit everything. Maybe it's because Aaditya always wanted to give you the world. Maybe it's because I'm about to die and don't give a shit. I don't know. I'm rambling. The world is crazy, and makes no sense. That's the one and only truth there is.Goodbye,T'aviAgni reads it again, and again, and again. Somehow, Siobhan is quiet for the entire hour that Agni spends sobbing so hard he can barely breathe. Every word seems as though it grabs his heart and poisons him from the inside. If this wasn't the lowest point of his life already, it sure as hell is now. He feels sick. He wants to vomit. He wants to dive into the ocean until his lungs collapse. If Siobhan won't kill him, he'll have to do it himself."So," Siobhan says at long last. He places his mug down, half-full. "You want to be a doctor, hm? You'll need some steady hands for that."The night was about to get much worse.

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Siobhan makes him sever the arm himself, with Agni's own scalpel. He pulls the viera into his lap, guiding him gently as he whispers words of praise in his ear. Yes, your dominant arm. That's it, quickly now. The longer it takes, the worse the pain will be. No - like you mean it. Faster. You have to sever bone, remember. There, that's it - wonderful, you're doing such a great job. Ah … Beautifully done. Really, it's a shame you'll never be a doctor now.The sun is high in the sky now, and Agni's tomestone is scattered in pieces across the table. People have started to wonder where he is; Siobhan smashed it to silence it for good. It's going to be a while until Agni goes anywhere, after all.The pain is unbearable - but he bears it. It's what his mother wanted, he supposes. He lays there in Siobhan's lap as Siobhan hums the same tune from earlier. It's soothing in a way that makes him feel sick. The drugs are very conveniently wearing off as the blood pours all over the place. When Siobhan decides that he's had enough, he reaches up and begins healing him. A kindness Agni does not understand, at first. It's the control, perhaps; Siobhan shows Agni that he is destroyed and saved at his whim; that every gentle touch, every breath of relief, is only because Siobhan allows it.He only heals him enough that Agni will not die from the blood loss. Of course. Of course he would stop there."I wish you would kill me," Agni chokes out with a broken voice, too tired to even manage a single tear.Siobhan tilts his head so Agni can see the joy on his face - and so Siobhan can see the life in Agni's eyes fade into the abyss as he sighs, "Oh, Agni. Haven't you heard? Death would only be freedom."

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Trust Fall

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"You used to help me with pets back in the day, and then that shining star fell into our palms, and everything changed. Do you remember? You betrayed me after everything I had done for you, I forgave you despite everything you did to me, and all was well! Now what, I can't have a little fun? After waking from a hundred year nap to find out that my life's goal - centuries of our work - was accomplished by the brat I raised only to kill me?"Grey is pouting as he whines, slumped over the dining table, surprised that Caelix is even letting him into his home. He'd cleared out the Songbird and her Shield, of course - Caelix would never let Valentino and Noua anywhere near Grey if he can help it. He regrets that they're even aware of his existence. Grey isn't sure where the Songbird went, but he senses the aether of the little Shield nearby, with the focus of an archer's bow pulled taut. I will cut through this house to kill you, it says. Grey relaxes into his chair.Caelix sighs. "You haven't changed at all.""Yes, well. I was dead for several years, if you recall.""I know. I just thought…" Caelix takes a seat next to him; he is the only one welcome to do so. "I had hoped that you'd have learned something from your last pet. Your shining star.""I learned that pets blessed by Hydaelyn shouldn't be trifled with. Worry not; Sylvestre is just some child."Caelix groans, and Grey can't help but laugh. Caelix may technically be older than him now, but that doesn't mean their dynamic will change any time soon. "Older than the last one, I hope." Grey looks contemplative, and Caelix's palm finds his face in exasperation. "You are incorrigible. And too ambitious for your own good." And here it comes, the real reason Caelix invited him in: "What are you up to, brother of mine?""Nothing heinous," Grey says, a faint look of surprise on his face."Brother.""I am serious!" Grey puts his hands up in defense. "Sylvestre is one of the most prestigious scholars in Ishgard; he has access to exclusive -""Forbidden.""- exclusive texts. Entire wings of documents, tomes, scrolls - all hidden away from the world, save for a select few souls. Some are even scheduled to burn. Why?""Knowledge is dangerous.""Exactly. The Warrior of Light-""His name is Lucky."Grey's train of thought comes to a full stop. There is a moment of silence as Caelix waits patiently for Grey to connect the dots, and then, "His name is Lucky? He named himself Lucky?"Caelix rolls his eyes. If he lets Grey chase his tangent, the entire train will derail. "I agree that it is dangerous to eradicate non-fictional texts, and that history and knowledge must be preserved, so it may be learned from - whether by guide or warning. It just sounds like a goal beneath you. You're after something else. Otherwise, Mist wouldn't continue siphoning and storing aether, despite the fact that you are well provided for at least another thousand years."Grey pauses again, though his expression is carefully measured. Then, his face darkens with a smile. "You weren't supposed to know that, you cheeky little rabbit." Mist would sooner die than give away information; Caelix acquired it on his own. Grey can't stand that he doesn't know how. "Who taught you to be so devious?""I wonder."With a laugh, Grey rests his head on Caelix's shoulder, relaxing as Caelix draws him closer with an arm around him. "There was a time when it was so easy to tell you everything," he says, softly. It's easy to forget, despite both their tendencies to say one thing and mean another, that at the end of all things, Grey truly does care for Caelix. Even if it's in his own, twisted ways. "When it was just us against the world. When there was nothing else to do but protect each other and find ways to be happy."There is a long silence, with not a single sound to be heard but the chronometer ticking gently. Caelix looks down at his brother and closes his eyes. There was a time, it's true, when they'd trusted each other. They'd speak plainly and honestly, without hesitation or judgement. He remembers waking up to find that Grey had learned to cook something new, or that he'd found a new book for them to read together. He always loved reading to Grey, coming up with silly voices for characters and annoying him constantly throughout the day. Sometimes Grey's plans would get Caelix injured, but he'd always be there to heal his wounds, and wipe his tears away. Crybaby Caelix, he'd tease, and laugh kindly when Caelix cried even more. Grey would imitate his storybook voices until it was Caelix's turn to get angry, but anything was better than tears. It was a cold, cruel world to them both. They'd never had anything come easy in life, but in the end, they always had each other.The rain begins to pour outside, a soft blanket of noise in a rare moment of peace, and it's only then, as Caelix tries to turn his head to look out the window, that he realizes he can't move.Outside, Noua's aether disappears.Grey caresses the long locks of Caelix's hair, gently arranging his limbs to rest peacefully on the dining table, as if he had simply fallen asleep. "Lost in your memories, dear brother?" he whispers, drawing back from their embrace to cradle his face. He shows Caelix a small, emptied needle. Everything in Caelix's body riots against his paralyzed cage, but what can he do? "You know better than that. Truly, you have changed. If it weren't for your partners…" Grey hums, pleased with the fire crackling in Caelix's eyes. "You hid the Songbird well, though, I'll admit, but the Shield knows where she is. How much torture do you think they could take, before they betray her location?" Grey stands, then, brushing Caelix's bangs back. "That little Noua is so curious. A raen of neither gender, you said? Ah, I want to cut them open so I can look at their parts. Would you accept them as a gift? You used to like when I did that."Caelix says nothing. Not even a groan. He can't. There's nothing that he can do - but he knew, of course, that Grey had no intention of playing fair. He always knew, from the second he betrayed his brother, that there was no trust to be found between them, no matter what came next. When Grey tries to open the door, mouth open surely to claim his victorious goodbye, he freezes. The door doesn't budge.Noua's aether didn't disappear. It was the whole damn house.Grey stares outside, and there, at the edge of the horizon, there is nothing. No stars, no moon, just the false pretense of it's light, and the gentle fall of rain. Grey turns to him, dangerously slow, and even this is something that Caelix had predicted. Even the way Grey grips his hair and slams it face down against the table, breaking his nose. Even when Grey kicks the chair beneath him to watch him fall. "You think because you are my brother, I won't kill you?" he says, bitter and honest, and then reconsiders the situation. "No, you know I will kill you. You know that I know that you know I will kill you, and you think that because I know you know, I won't, because that's what you want. You want me to kill you, so I won't. Ugh, you are so confusing. Are you ever going to stop playing five-dimensional chess?"There, in Caelix's eyes, Grey understands the answer. Caelix was always the more stubborn one, after all. He sighs. Then, he throws his jacket over Caelix's body, and lays down next to him with his arms folded behind his head. He gazes up at the starless sky, then lets his eyes come to a close. The chronometer is silent. Time does not pass here."When Mist brought me back," Grey begins, a soft whisper. "and I discovered what Lucky had accomplished, I killed him. I burned down his apothecary. Centuries of our hard work, of turning a game of aether into something real - we could've been gods. We could've ruled the world, you and I. Not a single soul could make us do anything, ask anything of us, and that'd be the way of things. I couldn't accept that Lucky's destiny ruled over everything I had planned. Blessed by Hydaelyn and the Twelve, guided by hands that created and care for our whole star… We were just stepping stones in his path, if even that. The world I had come to know… suddenly I knew nothing - and you know how much I loathe to not know," he laughs, and something in Caelix wants to laugh, too."The books scheduled for the fires are on that of the Dragonsong war; namely the war crimes committed by Ishgardian hands. Aymeric de Borel has been fighting to keep their history transparent, but there will always be heretics. The history taught in Ishgardian schools of the war was glamourized. Anyone could tell. I wanted to know the truth, and the dragons are not exactly friendly. I found Izanami and Sylvestre in the Jeweled Crozier and learned of their work - Sylvestre's in the process of translating tomes into braille, he's quite an interesting one. He reminded me of you, at first. Overeager and willing to believe anything. I missed you dearly, so I took a liking to him and made him my new pet. I do not feel needed by this world any longer, or by you, and these days, even Mist… but I am needed by him, and I am still discovering new things about this world, so it is enough. The aether Mist is collecting is for you."The heavy length of Grey's words fill the air, long after he has spoken. Caelix finds it in him to close his eyes.Then, with great effort, Caelix is able to move his mouth. "Could have just told me."Grey turns to him, a strange emotion in his eyes. "And you would believe me?" The last time Caelix saw him like this, it was when he'd shot him."Yes."Grey laughs, a hollow sound that Caelix knows well. He laughs like this when he thinks it's expected of him, though it would sound the same as ever to anyone else."I don't know what to believe anymore."The chronometer ticks once more. The rain disappears.When Noua shatters through the door, Grey is gone. "Caelix!" They run over, hands hovering as they cast a minor healing spell, forcefully resetting his nose and wiping the blood from his face. Behind, Valentino steps carefully over the debris, looking at him with an equal expression of worry. The paralyzing serum has worn off only slightly - he can't get up from the ground, but he can move his mouth and fingers. "You were right, that clown showed up, and I almost killed him, but he mentioned Valentino and I freaked out -""S'okay, you're both safe," he groans, wincing as Valentino kneels next to him and pulls him into her lap. She runs her fingers through his hair, caressing his face gently. "And the angel?" Noua and Valentino exchange a glance, heavy with tension. Caelix reads them easily: You tell him. No, you tell him. "Just say it."Valentino puts her hand on his shoulder. "Oh, my love. We have some very, very bad news."

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Mosaic

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After Grey discovered everything that had happened, he had been fine - until Mist updated him about Lucky's entire situation of gods and glory and an everlasting legacy, hell ensued. Almost literally. Grey had never lost his temper in the hundreds of years Mist had followed him, and even still, this was not entirely there, but it's the closest he's ever been. There's something unreal about the fact that Grey's face can be completely devoid of emotion while setting Mist's entire apothecary and apartment ablaze. This is his true self, Mist thinks in cold horror, and he's thankful that most of his body is not flesh and blood, for he'd certainly be spilling the latter all over the place in his hurry to the door, just barely making it out before the flames reach the explosives.It doesn't bother him, losing all of his belongings; what's his is Grey's, after all, and Grey was the one who had created the Key and it's place anyways. He's not thinking about the fragile tins of tea that Zerachiel kept full, or the couch that Zerachiel struggled to sleep on, or the books that Zerachiel had given him. None of it was his - except selfishly, somehow, Mist wants it to be his, and he's not sure what his emotions are doing, but it's certainly not great.Grey decides he's had his fun about a full day later. Mist is still on his hands and knees in the grass outside, looking up at his perfect, pristine form expectantly. Not a hair out of place. His shaking, crystalline hands reach for the crystal vessels he had imbued with aether, but Grey only looks up to the sky with a curious expression."I think I'll travel," he says, and that's that. With nothing but the clothes on his back, Grey leaves Mist in the middle of nowhere, after ten years of grueling work to bring him back, after a hundred years more in longing, Grey leaves.About ten paces away, Grey tosses him a bone, without so much as looking over his shoulder: "You'll be there when I need you, of course."Of course, Mist thinks, of course he will. What other purpose does he serve? He takes his key from his earring and opens the door back to his apothecary - and gods, his hands are struggling with even this simple task - and regretfully, the first thing Mist notices is Zerachiel's collar, still laying in pieces amongst the rubble on the ground.He stands there in the entrance for a moment more, trying to get the taste of freshly ground matcha out of his mouth. Then, like a flash of lightning, anger strikes him hard enough that he kicks the collar, and the pieces go flying. Good fucking riddance. No more heavenly angel waking him up in the morning for attention, no more tea over long nights of brewing draughts, no more helping clients and turning around to find his unwelcome presence without warning for the millionth time. He's grateful. Really. He's finally, literally, free.---Mist kneels down, and picks up the pieces.---Grey asks for his help about a month later; he'd found his brother living happily ever after with his two partners and wants to reconcile. Mist doesn't have it in him to question the strength of their familial bond, but he has a feeling he knows how it'll go. Regardless, he keeps a watchful eye over the raen in the branches of the tree by their house, ready to pounce at a moment's notice. When the house is suddenly enveloped in a thick layer of fog, completely separated from the rest of the world, Mist can't help but stare in awe.Noua looks directly at him. Disentangles from the branches. Then, it's a full charge.Fuck, is all Mist has time to think before their steel is at his throat. He's just barely able to dodge, and while he's trying to create space between them to unsheathe his sword, Noua takes out another knife. He's clearly outmatched, and he knows they know this when they exchange a few more blows and Noua huffs, putting away their knives. Mist frowns; he's not that weak."Caelix said you'd show. You just had to prove him right, huh?""I'm just here for Grey," Mist tries not to wheeze, lowering his sword and leaning against the trunk of the tree."Yuck. Where's your angel? Aren't you - I don't know, under house arrest?" They look at him closer, narrowing their eyes. "Where's your collar, virgin?"Mist knows that Noua doesn't even mean to provoke him, they just talk like this, but that doesn't stop him from throwing his sword at them. They step to the side. Mist hates them so much. "I'd worry about your own angel if I were you."Noua lets out a pfft. "He's fine.""Not that one - wow, you think Caelix is an angel?""You mean Valentino? She's fine too. We sent her to Costa del Sol to chill for the night.""Then why is she at Lily Hills?"The arrogant look on Noua's face drops. Mist may as well have slapped them, though he has to commend them for not immediately slitting his throat. Distantly, he wonders if Grey would resurrect him again, and his stomach churns when he realizes he doesn't know."I'll give you time to start praying to your angel," they glower, taking a step towards him, and Mist does his best not to tremble from the sheer intensity of their aether alone. "You'll need divine intervention to save you after this." And with that, Noua teleports away to check on their Songbird. Mist stares at the empty space where they stood, thinking.The broken pieces of Zerachiel's collar weigh heavy in the pouch at his side.---It's the middle of the night, and Grey had vanished to god-knows-where. Mist isn't sure if it's been weeks or months - or maybe even a year; time passes differently when one has been alive for too long. He spends his days picking up the burnt scraps of furniture and salvaging ingredients, trying to rebuild his little garden of herbs in the kitchen, mourning his personal library. It's quiet. He likes that it's quiet. He likes that he doesn't bump into a divine creature incapable of understanding his own size. He likes that he only has to make one cup of tea. He's even gotten used to Grey's absence - it helps that he's had the last ten years or so to get used to it anyways, and he's happy to serve his master while he's away. Everything is perfect.Yet for some reason Mist is holding the eye of Zerachiel's collar, trying to fit the pieces together. It's not like he wants to wear it again, but … It's broken, so he should fix it, right? Right. This is what he convinces himself is the truth, and so he's on the ground after wrapping the collar together so the sealant can set the pieces back, holding the closed eye that he's still not really sure how to attach back on. He's tried three different types of adhesives, and at this point, is wondering if he should just hammer the damn thing in."Even this part of you is so fucking difficult," he laments, holding himself back from throwing it across the room in frustration. "I think I might miss it. You being difficult."Outside, the rain continues to pour. Somewhere, a clock is ticking. Mist doesn't move. What did he expect - for Zerachiel to pop out of nowhere, without warning, as always? For Zerachiel to forgive him of his sins and hold him in an embrace? Even angels have their limits, it seems, and Mist wonders if he's the first mortal to find it.---It's easier said than done to betray Grey. There's the matter of his physical body being a creation of his, and he's not sure what it'll be capable of if Grey gets mad. There's a very real chance that he'll lose all semblance of autonomy, that he'll be nothing but a victim in the passenger seat while Grey drives him off a cliff.There's also a very real chance that nothing horrible will happen and everything will be fine, because Grey seems to be content playing Little God in Ishgard with his new pet, Sylvestre. But Mist doesn't like to gamble with these things."I can probably do it," Caelix says, raising his eyebrow. They're sitting together in the Drowning Wench, and despite Mist's sour confrontation with Noua, Caelix had agreed to meet with him, if only to stick his nose where it doesn't belong as usual. Mist will never say it, but he and Grey truly are brothers. "But I'm not sure I'm comfortable with human soul transplants. Even if, somehow, the vessel is willing…""Does it have to be human?"Caelix looks stunned into silence. Then, he appears to be doing a complex series of cause and effect calculations in his head. Some time later, he decides on another path altogether: "There is another way to separate your body from Grey's grasp without the need for another vessel. But it's… It might be difficult. For you."Mist narrows his eyes. "Spit it out before I slit your throat.""You'll need an angelic being-""Fuck no.""Mist, I don't know what happened between you and-""Don't say his name!" someone yells out, and it's only when the entirety of the tavern goes quiet that Mist realizes it was him. Caelix gestures to the general public, trying to reassure them, and Mist wants to leave, he wants to leave, he wants to leave. "I don't know why I even bothered asking you." He stands up, but Caelix grabs his wrist tightly.There's little in the world that Mist hates more than the look of pity on Caelix's face. "Wait," he manages, and it's mostly through the strength in his wrist that Mist does. "Wait, please. This is the best choice you can make. You don't understand the agony of transplantation."Mist doesn't want to stay. He wants this conversation to be over. Why couldn't Caelix just say no and end the conversation there? Grey and Caelix are similar in ways that are most infuriating."Then make me understand."Caelix pulls him down."I'm not willing to transplant your soul into another human's body. In fact, I'm not even sure I'm capable of it. It's an incredibly tricky thing, and often the vessel will reject the soul. Animal transplants are easier because they're less intelligent, but … you'll lose your ability to think the way a human's brain can. You'll lose your sense of self." And as if Caelix can read Mist's mind, he adds: "That's what you want, I understand. But know that there is a reason Natalia disappeared the same night that Barley died."Wait.What?For a single second, Mist thinks, what does that have to do with soul transplants, and then it hits him, and he's not sure he's ever felt this sick in his life."You're a fucking liar, Caelix Misericorde."---Fuck that stupid viera. Fuck him and his nosy little ass, fuck that guy and everything that's ever come out of his mouth. Fuck everything that he's ever done, fuck everything in this world and everyone in it - Mist tears through his apothecary and storms up into his apartment, slamming the door shut. In his anger, he knocks over Zerachiel's collar from where he'd delicately placed it on the coffee table, and the wrappings come loose and the sealant hadn't set yet and all the pieces go flying and Mist curls into a ball and screams. He's never felt more stupid in his life. When Grey had told him all those years ago that his dog and best friend died in a freak accident, he didn't piece together that it was an experiment that Grey knew was going to fail. He mourned quietly to himself, and then inevitably, moved on. Grey said he couldn't bring them back, and Mist never questioned it. Why was he so stupid? Why did he just do anything and everything that Grey told him to do?This is insanity. This is stupid, blind, wretched life, and he's living it, and he's not sure he wants to anymore. He doesn't want to. Not this one. Try again in the next.Mist pulls on his earring, and unsheathes his sword.---He can't do it, and now there's about a thousand more things to be furious over.---It's five in the morning when the sun begins to roll over the horizon through the curtain of rain, and he knows who's standing behind him by the pressure of aether alone. He's spent the last three hours on his knees in the middle of the forest outside Old Sharlayan, near his favourite door he'd used for the Anywhere Key. Just staring. Then, slowly, digging with the tips of his hands - then, with more purpose, digging with his entire arms. They stood there the whole time, watching.Five pathetic ilms into the dirt, they finally open their mouth: "Wow, I don't think you've ever looked worse.""Thanks," he deadpans, sounding like he'd been crying for the last thousand years. He wonders if he could kill Noua by just thinking about it hard enough. Die, die die. Drop dead."So, that's it, then. You're just going to destroy everything.""Not everything." But there is no need to mention the broken-again collar in his pouch. "Look, whatever you've been sent here for, just shove it. I'm not in the mood.""Are you ever?""Seriously, shut up. What are you even doing here?""Valentino had a performance. Then I overheard some elezen talking about a suspicious hyur in the woods.""Well, you found him. Fuck off."Noua walks around him, staring at the hole that Mist is so intent on digging. It's not a grave, that's for sure - not for a body, at least. For a second, Mist thinks that they'll try to fill the hole just to spite him, but then they get down to their knees, roll up their sleeves, and start digging.It goes on for longer than Mist had thought - the two of them digging quietly, to the point where it's almost peaceful - and then Noua has to ruin it by going, "Caelix told me about Natalia and Barley," and Mist wants to cry and throw up all over again, and he must look especially pathetic, because Noua doesn't even insult him. In fact, for the first time, he hears them say, "Sorry.""Watch your fucking mouth," Mist bites back, but it's less of a threat and more of a plea. He's so, so tired.Ten muddy ilms at long last, and Mist stops, so Noua does, too. They watch him carefully as he removes his key and throws it into the hole. They sword, next. When he grabs the dirt to cover everything back over, Noua helps with that, too. He tries not to laugh when it's all done and over and Noua claps their hands together in prayer."Halone," they say, and of course it's Halone. Mist rolls his eyes. "Please fuck Grey up. Thanks.""Weren't you going to kill me?""I won't give you that satisfaction," they say, wiping the mud off their hands onto Mist's shirt, who has accepted his fate, but adds this to the growing list of Reasons To Hate Noua Misericorde. "Valentino wants to get breakfast at The Last Stand. I'm going to clean up. You should too 'cause you look disgusting. I'll tell Caelix to reserve a table for four."Mist stares at them. Noua stares at them back. "I don't have any gil.""It's on Caelix.""I don't have anywhere to clean up.""We can get you a room in Andron." The staring ensues. He's on the edge. Noua pushes him: "And we'll order tea and biscuits.""Fine."---They're staying another night in Sharlayan before the Caelix and his partners depart for Tural. New Warrior of Light business, Noua says proudly, becoming accustomed to the title. Caelix pays for Mist's room for an entire week, which he begrudgingly appreciates, although with the look on Caelix's face, it's very likely that he only did that to call in the favour in the future. That's fine. It's not like Mist is capable of much anymore. He's sitting by the fireplace with the lights turned off, rolling a piece of Zerachiel's collar in his hand for the hundredth time. He's memorized every fracture by now, every bump and ridge, he could fit each piece together in his sleep. He has no idea where to go from here - and yet, surrounded by the shattered pieces of a promise, he falls asleep without a care in the world.

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The Abyss

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Noua's parents were heads of one of Limsa Lominsa's wealthiest families and owners of one of the largest trading companies. While they initially gave birth to a daughter, she passed suddenly despite being in good health shortly after Noua's birth. This sparked controversy within the family as many accused their parents of infanticide in favour of a "male" heir; however, as no proof could be found, the accusations faded away. While their family ensured Noua would want for nothing, everything from personal preferences to mannerisms was carefully crafted. For years, Noua knew nothing other than business and trade, studying to become the perfect heir. It was, as many people would argue, a pleasant life.When the time arrived for Noua to fully inherit the business, they were kidnapped by a crew of notorious pirates and held for ransom. Disputes exploded within their family that delayed any attempt at rescue as Noua's rise to power, given the circumstances of their birth and death of their sister, began to cause controversy once more. For the time being, the crew was content to let them sit in the brig. Hours turned into days, and the day a week passed, Captain Athene walked into the brig.Another family member was to inherit the business, and take their place.A cold plunge into icy waters. Noua had done everything, from the day they were born. They had done everything asked of them - and in the face of their shimmering accomplishments, in the end, they had nothing.As Athene prepared to throw Noua overboard in a fit of rage, Noua forced themself out of their stupor. Deals, negotiations, tricky conversations. This is not a situation Noua had expected to use these skills."Please - I'll pull twice my weight, or I'll let you kill me any way you want!"Figuring she had nothing to lose, Athene gave Noua one week to prove themself. Noua had never done chores in their life; they had been pushed aside in favour of books and lectures. The crewmates taunted them as they fumbled with simple tasks, throwing rocks at them for target practice just to see if they could crack their scales. Their fingers bled and their skin burned, but when they did not so much as whimper in complaint, Athene found a crumb of respect for them.Noua's natural curiousity and perceptiveness eventually broke their silence. Though it was condescending, most of the crew would answer whatever questions they had. They mocked Noua as they struggled to put their knowledge to practice, but when one week passed and the crew realized that Noua could be useful, they began to treat them just a little bit better. Rocks became a nickname, from target practice to a symbol of strength.It was at this point that Athene pulled Noua from the brig in the middle of the night, into her own quarters, and proceeded to pull out the biggest bottle of whisky Noua had ever seen. She looked at Noua differently. Warmly. Then, she poured them both a glass.Things changed. The crew began to treat Noua like one of their own, and Noua learned to eat with their hands, laugh with a snort, cry with their whole heart. There was something in the way they could now chart their course by measuring the stars; the gentle morning wind that carried the smell of whisky; the ocean swaying their hammocks in the night, like a mother cradling her newborn child.In the middle of the sea, miles from home, Noua saw an uncertain future, in a way that felt like inevitable.Just as Noua grew accustomed to life aboard the ship, their family suddenly begged for them back, offering double the ransom, even triple if the return was immediate. The new heir had been murdered, and no one else was willing to take their place for fear of the consequences. It was an easy decision for Athene, and through the crew had warmed up to Noua, the ransom was too high to pass. Within days, Noua was quietly traded at a drop-off point near the Wolves' Den in Limsa Lominsa."Rocks," Athene called, the wind carrying her voice across the ships. Noua takes a deep breath - of salt and whisky and Athene. "You think the world ends at the sea, but it only keeps going."It is the last thing Noua hears before Athene's ship explodes. Noua runs to the edge of their family's ship - it is a grave mistake. Their family grabs at them, forcing them into the depths of the ship. The screams and explosions muffled with the distance. Somehow, that made it worse."I'm sorry," Noua wept - for criminals who laughed at them, and then with them. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.""Yes," their family responded. Softly. Lovingly.Noua was forced into their duties immediately. The adjustment period was uncomfortable for everyone. Books and paperwork piled up on their desk, appointments were made, people were met, and soon enough, the business began to shine once more. Their family was overjoyed, thinking they could recondition Noua through familiar and endless routine. Noua's laugh was different, their language was different - but over the course of a month, Noua seemed to wring out the sea from their skin.It was at night when Noua gazed upon the stars, thinking of constellations and songs, that Noua realized they would never be free of this feeling. But their family was happy, and Noua was doing everything right - so why? Why would they even think to leave? After all, it was, as many people would argue, a pleasant life.Their baby sister. What was her name? They did not bury her.Their hands shook as they stumbled across their room, remembering the callouses that formed that had since smoothed over, from gripping the rags to scrub the deck. The bruises that bloomed from rocks thrown at them. The songs they sung together. The sound of laughter, of wind. Salt. Whiskey.In a rush of adrenaline, Noua slipped away in the dead of night, taking everything they could, not even leaving a note behind.

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